The Happy Loner’s Conundrum

Don’t we all love to be happy? Well as everyone is told that we control our happiness we are also told the best things in life is the social interactions with people we love. It’s a vexing problem as we normally do not control people.

As a loner I can testify that is it’s possible to find happiness as a loner but here are some things to consider living life as a loner.

A small concentrated potion

The energy around you is very important. When life hits, life will hit very hard as people can be a buffer to life’s hardships. Conversely people can drag you down. As an individual people mixing their energy with yours can dilute any happy feelings. This is usually apparent in romantic relationships. It’s rather hard to be 100 percent isolated. The few people in our lives that gives us moments of happiness will have that much more power in our lives. A friend or lover who does not take that responsibility seriously could have terrible consequences.

The good part

After we cleanse our lives of the negative energy, we are able to do amazing things when we add positive energy.  We can see happiness with clarity and if we are not lost in the darkness for too long we can find our way back.

Defeat, betrayal, instant hopelessness

I am a loner because I am not as emotional however being alone makes me a lot more sensitive. As I usually walk this path of life alone I have to be sensitive to slight changes around me as I am often my only line of defense mentally and physically. I am a little smart though, as I do my best not to over-react but to be aware. Showing weakness alone screams “attack me.”

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When I put my trust in someone, it often makes me happier than normal. However, when I am let down I am often Depressed because my eggs are in fewer baskets and my back was likely left open for attack while a friend or loved one to be right there to watch me fall. We often feel extremely betrayed. Friends often get close casually, usually by a convenient pattern of interactions. however when we have a few friends we take those few seriously. That is where many loners have that disconnect to lead us into astray. Unreliable friends will be the death of many of us.

Many of us are working through life through trial and error so after many failures we find it harder to pick ourselves up. After we run out of solutions, depression and hopelessness can creep in but we need to be stubborn.

The flip side to defeat

We have sharp spikes of improvements. A person alone can move much faster than a large group. Making us the best opportunist. Keep an eye out. Even in our darkest moments keep your finger on the trigger for a major turnaround!

Rivals

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Be prepared to be the underdog.  Isolation is dangerous as the influence you have will be very limited and enemies will likely be stronger. Even if you are unusually strong, every time we reach a new level we normally see someone who is strong and is well-connected. It’s not natural for a solo person to rise through the ranks, not in this society.

My suggestion is to have temporary coalitions that join and separate as needed.

I find my happiness in the thrill of the fight itself. Defeating my rival will always push me to a new level. I find that many loners that succeed is generally extremely talented, resourceful and intelligent.
If anyone wants to join a coalition I would love to get a list as well as categories so we can join when we need to and go about our lives.

solitude as pain in itself

psychologically, isolation is also mentally dangerous. We are hard wire to be social.  Yes I talk to myself. To cope I am almost at the point of having a second voice with its own opinion that is different from my owns.

We are loners but always have a tie to society. We don’t want to go crazy. Chose wisely, please.

 

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