Likely diagnosed as erectile dysfunction but it could have a social disease more than a physical one. This is my attempt to help anyone who might be siking themselves out or overthinking during sex.



This idea came to me literally scrolling through Instagram and the usually but uncontested bashing of men who are bad in bed. Of course who would fight for them? As a man this gives me an advantage for me to slide, and if I speak out well I must be one of them. You usually hear from other men:

I go for at least 5 hours baby


You must be messin’ with the wrong ones.

Promptly sliding into the dms. I get it. Dating is rough for some of us, (including me).

Social issue

It is a popular view that black women do not support each other as much as they could. In response you see a lot of women coming together, it’s not perfect I still see a lot of “these lil’ hoes” by other women but steps are being taken. One thing that is happening but not talked about as much is the even bigger division between black men. Even now, I see another man lose status that is a rival I instantly think about my benefits to the women in my city, school or workplace. The reason for this division is literally one of the ways to help a man if he is struggling. This is literally me making a possible enemy and rival. 

It’s a rough game when a guy have a bad night or worse is always a terminal problem going forward.

For the most part in casual sex we have but one shot to get it right. A poor friend of mine was called out for his size, and you know it’s bad when me, a male heard about it; that means she had a loud mouth and was doing PSAs all over campus. I can’t imagine how bad he must have felt.

Ever just wanna Scream F*ck! after a failed opportunity?

My female friends usually have the tactfulness to not tell me about someone I know, but they are quick to tell me how horrible some of their recent partners were performing. Needless to say those men never got a second shot at doing better. I admit I laughed at her, I probably should have suggested to give the guy another shot if you really like him but I have some asshole tendencies and it is a big part of social norms to make fun of people like that. Something for me to work on, It must be demoralizing as so much pride revolves around that with men.

What to do?


Be a hoe or fuck boy

This is my natural enemy as I keep my heads in the clouds and usually outworked by these personalities, but those clouds…

Yeah… all jokes aside you are going to want as much practice as you can get and since you are performing bad it’s a one and done. So flirt with everyone attractive or ugly to gain your confidence. When a QB throws an interception he needs to start throwing aggressively as soon as possible. If the coach starts running the ball your player will be rattled. I think John Madden said it best.

“The best QB has the shortest memory.”

(Not sure if that is an exact quote or not). If your last situation was bad and you stopped it will only appear bigger as time went on.

Actual Friend with benefit


Rare, extremely rare. Real friends probably don’t want sex unless you are already an attractive male which she is probably not trying to be your friend.  And saying hey, I suck lets practice isn’t appealing either. Use this style at about half-way on your development when you are confident you can do a OK job and you find a woman or friend who is willing to give you pointers to get that extra push.


Saved the obvious one for last, I’m sure everyone thought of this by now. If you are you you are probably painfully single. But a relationship you can sell yourself and not your sex life. Take it slow and once she likes you enough, then boom hit her with you suck in bed. If she likes you enough she will help you develop, if not she is way to shallow to be a woman any man should be with. After all if you are the right guy she has the rest of her life to improve you. Also don’t date her just to get better with that either, unless you too are shallow then no judging from me. Morals are for people looking to control others, yeah I said it (jumps at the readers).

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