Over thinking often leads to mine and others feeling down, so brainstorming against depressions seems like a lost cause, but this is what I am currently doing. Here how that is going…

These few photos are a preview of a shoot that I recently created. It helped kick December off to a good start as it was income, got me out, helped me socialize and help me do something while I stayed in.

There are a few things that I need to do, and I wasted a lot of the day “relaxing.” I get depressed in December the most and I am pushing myself to not go through it as hard. So I am thinking… Going out was my first option.

Go out

It’s ideal to literally have fun. Take a few shots and have some nights to remember or forget.

Reality

It hit me most do not have the money and since I am from Chicago warm indoor places that are fun will cost money. Another thing I noticed is all of my friends are busy on the days I have off. The others don’t reply. My second option automatically fell through as it was inviting others over. My third would be to do what I love and that is to shoot.

Staying at home

DSC_0111
A new Shot of me going out to shoot then staying in to edit

ideal

I bet other sites would have you believe that you can sit at home do arts and crafts sip tea and the sun will shine through the window and kiss your face with grace. Then you will go to bed knowing you made a pop-sickle picture frame for the world. As you close your eyes the eye sweat pours down your eyes as it helps you sleep.

reality

I have no one I can bring over to shoot so I usually have fun with edits or eat while crying. My craft is shooting and it’s too cold. So I do something that doesn’t make me happy but keeps me from getting too sad; writing.

I would love to invite people over regularly but there is never a sweet spot with that life.

Goals

I want to do something valuable every weekend. building friendships/ relationships or being productive. Those are very important to me and I am very depressed when one isn’t happening.

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