Swaying back and forth between despair and joy alone I wonder why can’t I stay stable?

I was formally a big supporter of self-sustaining happiness, however that is a biological paradox. Everything I have been told is telling something different yet therapist that I’ve had told me that my happiness shouldn’t depend on others.

Twenty-second hugs gets rid of stress? I hug my pillow I guess I need a person or maybe a puppy. Sex is considered a need despite the morally strong preaching. Love is widely seen as a benefit, so what’s this notion of happiness not being dependent on others?


DSC_0055We are happy alone after getting rid of stressful and troublesome people. However, we tell newly single people to not be alone. Loneliness can hit like a ton of bricks especially when we had someone playing a big part in our life.


Conversely Being single and alone for a long time isn’t all that different. One thing is important, that is our fear of change. I face anxiety on both changes to being single and walking into a relationship.

Isolationist double-edge buffer sword

One major disadvantage to doing anything productive alone is the moment motivation is lost it can be very difficult to get it back. An isolated person must be very strong-willed. Distorted thoughts will lead many astray as there isn’t an outside voice to keep us grounded in reality.

Roll Tide

Not that I’m a Alabama fan but when the tide is rolling for an isolated person there is little resistance from people. People in someone’s personal will slow productivity down.

“If you want to travel quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” – African proverb

At the same time it’s hard to travel at all if the people around you isn’t productive. You may need to discard the dead weight that might leave you alone. I have run it alone, and I left quickly. I’m practically lost at this point.

Alone and Happy?

It’s a crazy paradox but yes you can be happy alone. It could be the result of extreme  positive distorted thinking or a life’s mission but it is certainly possible.

How I found pockets of happiness

I always did things I wanted to do. All the things I couldn’t do if other was involved I took full advantage. Eventually I miss the presence of people but I know dying of starvation or dying of tainted water is still dying. I stuck with the former because there is always a change to find clean water.


The reason why I do things that are important to me is because I do not receive any validation from anyone else. There isn’t women who are generally chasing after me and friends are not excited about seeing me. I am faced with the task of living a paradox and it is hard work.

Building self-worth in a vacuum seems like right but it is a daunting task.

On the good side it is literally a journey with no end, so if that’s your thing then there you go.


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