Sure it’s common knowledge that the last time most of us check the success on marriage it was about 50% but how successful is dating? If you are single that would mean you are at 0%. Things seem a bit optimistic to have a 50/50 chance with a ring. Well before you get that first win, here are some deadly sins you want to avoid.
In honor of Valentine’s Day here is more of my recent work with this lovely muse.
A reminder to always love yourself and always enjoy life…Let’s begin
This is first on my list because this leads to so many faults in life and relationships. Why do you always seem to have the same person? We like the same person all women/men are not bad, and we don’t “have work to do.” You have work to do.
Think of this
How can a person who lacks virtue help the homeless?
Giving a person spare change isn’t an act of charity but an act out of self-interest. We feel a bit stronger being able to help someone “below” us. A lot of people date below them. We all like that cute train wreck, that is a few good choices away from something special. We think oh such a waste, I bet I can help.
The second part is that belief in the back of your head that you are not good enough for the finished product.
You’re already important enough.
You already made it. I’m telling you that I don’t know you but you are important enough for a decent person to love you. As long as you are yourself a decent person. Focus on being the best you and the need to do charity work in relationships will fade.
No Friend Zone
A friends zone isn’t being friends with someone you won’t date or at least not the one I’m talking about. I mean no getting really close to a friend knowing that person desire you for the A1 companionship. It’s not healthy for either party.
A friend in that zone allows you to date an attractive person with nothing else to offer to the table. That friend will always pick up the slack while thinking they are making way on winning your heart. Distance yourself, that void should be filled by a lover. Or else, that friend will eventually walk and now you are stuck in a bad relationship.
Look deeper than looks. I know easier said than done. But let’s be real we are wasting our time dating eye candy who’s flavor fade after the first month.
We are hardwired to date this way. A man sees a pretty woman walks up to date her… He knows nothing about her other than the fact that she is attractive. Yet he attempts to take her on a date. Six months later both are wonder where it went wrong. He had you at HELLO.
Be Honest with Yourself
These rule means nothing if you keep lying to yourself. A sexy person will make you think the red flags are light burgundy scarfs that he is wearing.
What we think we see is a perception not reality. If we don’t want to see it best believe we won’t.
This is funny but that’s why “don’t believe your lying-eyes,” might actually work.
Drop Culture Rules
Culture can’t tell you how you as an individual should love. It’s a quick way to lower yourself-esteem. Sure I think you don’t like sex with that turtle neck but you know that you want sex as soon as possible or want to show a little more than a little skin. You may cover up but you couldn’t be any more naked and vulnerable. So ladies this part is for you; men who specialize in hurting women can see through that mask you wear.
If you were really as hard as you say you are it’s OK to show some feelings. I see so many men who act mad all the time but smile the moment fewer people or women are around. Our defense is up more than people think. Can’t express feelings too early or she will panic. That is fine, walk with your heads up and find someone who has a level head.